Learning to Appreciate Others

Learning to appreciate others will help us to live a better life. We never lost anything in appreciating others – instead we become a better person. Appreciating others will help us to enhance our skill; it will also boost the doers to contribute more for the good of the people.

Every time some one does something good for you or others and they need our genuine appreciation. Appreciation sprouts in the land of jealous free zones. Learning to appreciate others’ ideas, sincerity, contribution, good deeds etc enhance one’s life.

Why we cannot appreciate others? Many times many people had done great things for us and they need appreciation.

However some people have never received any appreciation or reward in their lifetime for their good deeds. Do they need after they passed away from this world?

It is much better to say a word of appreciation while they are living than writing a beautiful biography or bringing a bouquet on their death ceremony. The dead men cannot see or smell our beautiful flowers or read our biography, which is written in praise of them after their death.

When we appreciate and support the great deeds of others – we feel good and boost the others to work harder. Appreciating others and talking good of others after they died is one of the weakest attitudes of mankind in this world.

Many people work hard regardless of others appreciation and recognition. But what about those people who need support, appreciation and recognition? When some one does something great – we hardly ponder how they could do such a great thing.

Instead, we criticize and snub others’ great works. As we evaluate and project in a positive way about others, we’re sure to find out the beautiful thing they have done, which is worth to be appreciated. Many times we do not appreciate others due to some of the reasons -

Jealousy: We cannot appreciate and support others when we are jealous of others’ good deeds. We may no appreciate others good deeds but there are millions of people to appreciate and support those who are doing something good for the people and no appreciating other good works is our own loss.

We need to erase the jealousy from our mind, heart and soul in order to appreciate and give support to others who are doing good for us.

Ignorance attitude: Today we live a better life in many aspects but why we are living a better life? Many times we hardly realize what others had done for us. If we are so ignorance about others good deeds, we cannot appreciate others good deeds.

We also need to come out from our ignorance then only we will come to know the good deeds of others. Many a time ignorance comes due to lack of thinking and analytical power.

Callous attitude: Intentionally or unintentionally many of us too callous of others’ hard work for us. We may not have personally relationship with him/her but we need to appreciate the good work of others.

However due to our callous hearts, we do not feel in our hearts or accept what others had done for us. Man is a social animal and it needs support, appreciation and recognition. Do they need our support and appreciation after their retirement or death?

When we open up our heart to appreciate others, it will boost our present work and in their works. Those who appreciate and support others learn from others and improve in their works. But those who are so callous about other good deeds fail to learn and improve their work.

Appreciation should be from our heart.

If we do not appreciate others from our hearts, it is better not to show our insincere appreciation because it only wastes our energy and time. Appreciating others is nothing but just enhance our work, thinking and to live more peacefully.

We need to learn how to appreciate others if we want to work harder and learn from others the new techniques of their greatness. No man is too old to learn from birth till date; it is only our weakness that we ignore to learn many things.

Expecting Recognition and Problems

By human nature, man wants to be recognized by others. However, many people snub to appreciate and recognize the good deeds of others. We cannot and should not always seek to be recognized and appreciated by others in whatever we do. Let other recognize what you do but seek not to be recognized by others. There are many people in this world who are doing many great things for others nevertheless we fail to appreciate and recognize them.

What if others do not recognize you what you have done or contributed? There are many people who always seek to be recognized by others. The people who always seek to be recognized in whatever they have done cannot do well any work. When others do not recognize them – they start to develop negative thought and attitude. They are disappointed and sad. A sense of inferiority complex and jealousy develop in their heart. They have self-pity in their heart that they are snubbed by other people. I know one person who always wants to be recognized and appreciate by others. But when other fails to recognize what he does or contributes, he always seeks compliments and recognition and when other fails to recognize his works – he ceases to act and gloomy.

Do you feel dismal or depress when others do not recognize your work? If you are – it needs to change your perception. If other people do not recognize your good deeds, work harder to make better the whole system. Let it be – whether others recognize your work or not, resume doing your work and what you dream for – for you are the only person who can achieve what you dream. The people who need recognition and appreciation in whatever they do easily lose their principle, determination and discourage. The workers who work depending on others recognition cannot work sincerely. Some time other people fail to recognize others good deeds. Some time we may be right but due to poor vision or selfishness – others may not recognize what you are doing today. However when you continue to do and bring out good result – they will not only recognize you but also give you the incentives in different ways.

Some time man is very selfish. They withhold to express the appreciation but a sincere worker will never lose the zeal to success in life. Failing to recognize by others – some people start to ponder – why I am not recognizing by others when I have done better than others? It is good to question but the negative attitude cannot bring sweet fruit. Those who always want to be recognized are easily flattered by others. It is always advisable to work hard regardless of others recognition. The sincere and devoted workers toil without any expectation from others, while the insincere and not devoted workers work with great expectation to be recognized in whatever they do. So in failing to be recognized by others – they develop a negative attitude.

Do you deserve to be appreciated and recognize by others in everything what you do? Of course not! However there are some people who have the attitude to show off in whatever they do. I am not trying to say that we should not ignore others recognition. We need to be recognized by others in whatever we do. However always seeking to be recognized and based on recognition – if we do our work – we can never succeed in life. You have got good friends – who always encourage you to work harder – the friends who always discourage and pull down. So if you always seek recognition and appreciation, instead of appreciation and recognition by others – you will be landed with great disappointment. I have got another friend who had failed many times in his student life due to some unseen reasons. However, he is always optimistic to reach his goal some day. He hardly bothers others’ observation, perception and criticism.

The problem with the people who always seek recognition is easily fails in their lives. All the people who always seek appreciation and recognition also expect from others to react the same or do the same whatever they have done for others. For instance, if they give a treat or help some one, they also expect from others to get treat from others or any kinds of support according to what they have done to others.

To work regardless of others’ appreciation and recognition does not mean ignoring others’ recognition. Our works need to be recognized by others else what ever we do is worthless. Always work hard to achieve you dream and goals but avoid seeking others to be recognized your work and working based on others’ recognition. If you always seek the approval and recognition from others the result may be many times bitter.

(This article tries to tell the problems and solutions for the people who expect appreciation and recognition every time they do something or contribute)

Different Nature of People

   There may be different types of human natures or tempers according to different Psychologists or other Scientists. However I find three important types of people who have different temperance or natures. Every person – whether he/she is cool person or seldom speak, straight forward and tells everything or great tolerant – they have got their own positives and negatives aspects. Sometimes it may be difficult to say that this particular person is bad or good. We have got the negatives and positives aspects and it depends on where it uses and where it controls.      Seldom speaking people     There are some people who seldom speak but they get angry in their heart when some one say something bad about them or do against their wills. But do they share their problem frankly and request them not to do again? This people hardly share with others their problems or ask others problem; they always get irritation in their hearts. Once I asked to one guy, “Did you tell him no to do in that way?” He said, “No, I did not tell him no to do in that way.” Then I asked him, “Why are you angry with him?” He did not tell anything about his problem but he is getting angry on him. Unless we tell the other person no to do in that way, the person who is doing may not know the problem; his/her irritation is meaningless without sharing the problems with the wrong doers or who annoyed him or her. There are some people who intentionally irritate the others; but there are some people who irritate others unconsciously. So do we have the reason to get angry when the other person is irritating unconsciously? Even if the other persons who are doing irritation to us intentionally, they can change their attitude or stop doing when we frankly share the problem, which causes to us. For the people who are annoying us unconsciously will definitely change their attitude if we share the problem to them. Unless we help the other persons to know how they annoy us, there is no point of getting angry with others. We may have the reason to get annoy if the other person repeated the same action after sharing the problem to them – otherwise there is no point of annoying without sharing the problem with him or her.      Straightforward and tells everything     One of the positive aspects of this kind of people is that they do not hide anything in their heart –they are frankly and share every problem. The negative aspect of this people is that they cannot tolerate when some one make annoy them. There are some people who always tell the others not to do if the others person is annoying them. Many times they are straight forward and tell the problems that causes to them. They cannot tolerate when someone is doing against their wills. They want the other person to understand their own problem and not to annoy the other persons. In this way they help the other persons to understand their problems and stop annoying the others. It is their philosophy to share everything without keeping in their mind, which is irritating to them. Some people annoy others intentionally while others do unintentionally, so it helps the other person to understand the problem that affects the other people. The straightforward people are less tolerant too. They cannot tolerate anything that cause them annoy. They easily get angry but cold down faster then the cold headed people. They are like the land that gets heated fast and cold down fast unlike the water bodies. They help other person to understand what they feel. They seldom keep bad remarks in their heart. They forget and forgive the other person more easily than any other cool man. But once they get angry, they can recollect all the bad remarks of others and fire them again; it is not they are too poor in memory but they only forgive the others in order to build the better relationship.       Great tolerable people     Are you more tolerable than your friends? Do you always say yes to your friends or to others? Why can’t you refuse them even when it affects to your own personal life? Every person has some positive and negative aspects in their lives. The people who have great tolerance are very adjustable with different kinds of people. When we can expect them getting angry? When we do something against them, they get annoy but do they really get angry? It seems this kind people will never get angry in their life time. But they are like the water bodies, which takes time to warm up and take time to cold down. They are not the land bodies that warm up easily and cold down easily. These people are very good people. However if they get angry, they are the most dangerous people on earth. The short temper and great tolerable people can kill man when they get angry. The great tolerable people are very dangerous people too. Once they get angry, life is nothing for them; they can kill you.      In conclusion:  Where do you belong to and what are your negatives aspects that need to change to positive aspects? We may generalized that this kind of people are good or bad – infact it is difficult to categorize a particular nature of people as good or bad so it would better to treat or consider everyone as a good human being. Copy right @thohepou 2007

Learning to Live from Self and Others’ Experiences

Learning to live is an art of life. The art of good life does not come automatically; we need to learn from self experiences and from others’ experiences. There are many things that we learn from our practical life. There are also many things we learn from others’ experiences. All the knowledge and experiences that we acquire from the books, other media, advice from others etc are from others’ experiences.

 The difference between learning from self-experience and others’ experience is that when we learn from self-experience, we are more confident and sure of what we experience. However learning from others’ experience cannot bring that much confident as we learn from our own experiences. Learning is also an art of practice. If we have nothing to learn; we need to learn how to learn. Learning is the endless process and we need to learn everyday since it is insufficient to learn the whole system in our life time. 

When a child is born, s/he commences to learn till the last breath. But how a child or adult learn is different from one person to another person. Some people have the learning attitude and absorptive in learning new things while others do not have much learning attitude. Some are slow in learning while others are fast in picking up new things. A person may quick to learn new things but having the competence to learn fast without having the learning attitude is not better than a slow learner. When it comes to learning process, it is always better for a slow learner who learns persistently than a fast learner who ceases to learn in the course of learning. 

Learning is the process that has no ending. We know that we need to learn every day. But unconsciously we presume that it is enough to learn or too old to learn more. But can we point out something which we don’t need to learn and continue to live happily? Learning is the endless process and we need to realize this matter. Learning needs to commence from our childhood since learning will become our habit; not as a duty that is to be done forcefully. The neuron system in our brain work faster when we start to consider, learn a copious of thing during the childhood and teenage. When something become our habit, it is difficult to eradicate, which is will be good in term of learning.   

Learning is nothing but something that we come to know from studying, observation, listening, perceiving, which be intentionally or unintentionally. There are many things that we learn unintentionally, which may become useful or harmful to our life. We learn many things from our parents, siblings, friends, others, books, media etc, which include the learning from others’ experiences. When we talk about learning from self-experience, it is only few things that we learn from self-experience. Our learning attitude is depending on our trust and believes on others. When we trust some one and incorporate their advices and practice in our live, we come to experience what is all about. The advices of the old people are the advices from their self-experience and experience learnt from others. This is the main reason the advices of the old people are precious and reliable as they had encountered ups and downs many times in their lives and learnt from it. 

Many people think that they are too old to learn. But it is only their projection and perception on learning new thing. The fact is that there is no one who is too old to learn. There are many people who are doing research after their retirement from the job; there are also many who do graduation or post graduation and other courses after the menopause. There is not a single person who does not need to learn.  Practically an old age person may no go to school and learn again but definitely s/he also need to learn to live a better in old age. Once a person ceases to learn the art of life; s/he becomes like a paralytic person. However even a paralytic person also needs to learn how to talk and order politely for his/her food, which involve learning. 

Self-experience comes learning from experiencing from his/her own failure and success in life. God gives us good life but many of us do not know the art of living. The art of living is also come not only doing self-experiencing learning or from others’ experience but having positive thoughts to live better life. One of the important aspects of learning the art of life is looking beyond the present activities, work, studies or anything that engage at present. Ponder beyond the present thought or pondering. Pause sometime what you are thinking and recall back and analyze what you are pondering on. When we pause and reflect on again with different perspective, we receive new idea or take a better decision. 

Today, the competition is very high in every field. The “Survival of the fittest” is indeed now come to our society. A child in First Standard starts to compete with other Classmates. Today both the students and parents are stressful due to stiff competition; stresses are there in every aspect from learning in school to working place. But when we learn the art of life to live will solve the stressful problems. 

When we want to live a better life – we need to learn to live from our self-experience and from others’ experience. Some of the important aspects involves in learning are like accepting the advice, right thinking, observation and doing practical work. When we contemplate and involve in practical work, it helps us to live a better life. We learn and have self-experience and the best thing to learn is to experience from the thing experienced by others. Copy right @thohepou 2007

The Simple Life

 

What is a simple life? Does it mean ignorance? Does your shabby dress make you a simple life? Or does wearing a good dress make you less simple? Simple life lies both in physical appearance and inner heart. A person may seem to be simple but in his heart – he is not a simple man. A person may appear to be a very complicated and discourteous seeing his dress but he lives a simple life. We cannot say a person living a simple life seeing his dress or appearance. A simple man life can be perceived from his speech and character rather than dress and appearance. 

What make him to live a simple life? Is that because of his ignorance or is that because of his lack of knowledge? Is it that because of his unintelligence? Is that because he has inferiority complex? Is it important to live a simple life? What kind of message does he sends out to other through his simple life? Why he loves to live a simple life? What are the others projection or view on him living a simple life? Can he change his simple life easily? Simple life is a character of a man and he cannot easily change due to some simple reason. He loves the simple life and he lives a simple life. A man living a simple life seems to be weak but he is a man of meek. Many learned men become simpler as they learned more and more; they live a very simple life. He cannot be easily defeated by the past, present and future adversities. He is also shrewd in all his works. It would easier to deceive to a man of showy than to a man that lives a simple life. How many people love this simple life? A simple life seems to be less impressive to many people especially the man of ostentation. 

A man with simple life has lots of people around him. It shows that many people appreciate his life. A man with sarcastic attitude cannot embrace many people like a man with simple attitude. There is no man more respected than a man of simple life with high thinking. A man with a simple life can mingle with different kinds of people. Many people want to live a simple life but they cannot live a simple life because of his character and attitude, which made him to be difference person. A simple life comes from attitude and character of a man. Some people are born with meek character and live a simple life. But there are many people who live a simple life due to inspiration from a man living a simple life. Does a man born in an ordinary family make him to live a simple life? No, never, born in an ordinary or royal family is no a matter to live a simple life; born in an ordinary family is nothing to do with a simple life.

Simple men are born both in an ordinary and royal family. Many people learned to live a simple life born in an ordinary and royal family. A man with simple life can live a simple life also complicated life. But a man living a showy life difficult to live a simple life unless there is transformation takes place in his life. A man living a simple life due to some problems changes again his simple way of life when the situations changed. But a man living a simple life after receiving inspiration from other may no change his simple ways of life. A learned man living a simple life and a life changed due to inspiration is different from a life changed due to difficult situation. A life changed due to inspiration from others cannot change easily because he loves such kind of life. But a man’s life changed due to bad or good situation will change his life when the situation is changed. 

A man lives a simple life not because of the situations. Situation is no the main asset for man to live a simple life; it is only his desire and love that make him to live such a simple life. Our want decided our ways of life. Dress does not make a man’s life simpler or more complicated. A simple life do not lies on dress or physical appearance. It lies in the heart of a man.     Copyright @thohepou  13-02-04