How to reduce corruption?

There are certain rules and laws to be follow in a system. When people violate any rule or law in some particular system, it becomes a corruption.
And to deal this corruption, we should also have our own rules and principles and follow the rules made by the Government. Unless we set a certain rules and law to deal the corruption, we cannot say anything to any one.

When we don’t have certain rules and principles to correct the corrupted people, who are we to question anyone? And who are you to question on others?

We need to understand first the root causes of the corruption and deal accordingly. Corruption cannot be suppress down or remove or reduce through insulting, mockery or defaming the corrupted people in public forum without having our own sets of rules and principles; and also without informing the others in advance.

Therefore, in order to reduce the corruption, let’s all set together some certain rules and principles before we directly insult, mock and defame the corrupted people. 

We may have our own certain rules and principles to deal the corruption, but practically not one can deal this corruption alone or individually – corruption need to deal jointly with a pressure group. 

There are three ways that we can reduce: 

1. Educating the people to reduce the corruption 

2. Implementating the rules and laws strictly and

3. Punishing all those who violate certain rules and laws.

Let’s hope and pray that we make first certain rules and laws to deal with the corrupted people. 

  Education: Naga Students in the city  

Speech by Dr. Thohe Pou on the 31st Naga Students’ Union Freshers’ Day 2011

Honorable Chief Guest – NSF President and his two colleagues, NSUD V-President and his two colleagues, NSUP Advisors, NSUP Executives, freshers, well wishers and all the members present here. I want to extend my special thanks to NSUP President and his colleagues for giving me this opportunity to share a few words on Education and the Naga students in the city. Education is one of the most important aspects in human life; education can solve almost all the problem in human life – may be the economic, health or spiritual problem and this is what I personally believe it.


Where we have come from?

Aos are the first who converted into Christianity and they are the first who started the modern education among the Naga community in Nagaland State.  In Manipur the Tangkhuls are the first who were converted into Christianity and started the modern education in late 1880s. After more than 50 years of Aos and Tangkhuls started their modern education, many other Naga tribes
commenced their modern education. When we compare with the modern education in India, the Nagas commenced the modern education after more than a century of Indian started the modern Education. However, today we are competing with the mainland Indians in many aspects.


Where we are today?

Today many Nagas are working in different corporate offices, institutions and organizations. The mainland Indians forefathers were engineer, doctors, lawyers etc but our forefathers were illiterate and even today many of our parents are also illiterate. But today many of the Nagas are doing very well in many aspects in many fields. When we introspect to our root and background,
we don’t have any good family or educational background but by God’s grace many Nagas are doing excellently in many fields. Today, even if you are finding difficult to compete with others in your college or working place, we have some good reasons behind. But it does not means that we should not compete with others or give up.


What are the facilities and opportunities in the city?

Today we have lots of facilities and opportunities in the city, which are not available in NE especially in Nagaland and Manipur. When I go to Delhi in 1992, I took up computer Science, but unfortunately I’ve never seen computer in my life before I go to Delhi. But today, the scenario is changing fast… I believe that almost every student might have seen computer, if not might have heard about computer.

In every city, you’ve lots of facilities, infrastructures and opportunities. But all these kinds of facilities and infrastructures also can be very perilous too when we do not utilize it in a proper way. Many of us also can misuse the facilities like mobile phone, Ipod, laptop, internet, hotel, shopping mall, multiplex theaters and many things more. How many of you are addicted to internet, games in internet, sending sms, listening music, going for movie, shopping etc. We need to use our time and money wisely in using all kinds of facilities; otherwise we can be lost in the midst of these multi-facilities, which is around us. What is your educational background?


Many of us may be no from a good school and our parents may be illiterate but our hard work and sincerity will add immense advantages and work wonder in our life. There is one school known as Shajouba Baptist English School, Mao, Manipur and from that school, three alumnus were awarded Doctorates (PhD) and some got into Central Service as of now. So the school that we have come from does not matter much but our sincerity and hard work help us to bring success in our life. Of course coming from a good school will give always add more advantages to our sincerity and hard work. Three years of graduation is also one of the most crucial stages in students life as it can bring immense change in one’s life – may be from bad to good or vice


What are the main purposes for a student?

1. Good percentage in the examination: As a student, the main purpose of studying is to get good percentage in the exam and no just getting good percentage, but one need to have good knowledge in their own subjects. Do not underestimate any subject or course that you are under going – may be Humanities, Social Science or Science; you only need to be an expert or specialized in that subject. It is always better to be an expert in humanities than having little knowledge and just securing pass mark in commerce or Science.


2. Getting good percentage has two important advantages.

First, it will help you to be confident and your confidence will bring success in your life. We need to build confidence in our life whether we are a student or working in any company or organization. This confidence will come only when you have good knowledge and information with you.


Secondly, as a student it will help you to get into college or good company when you pass out your graduation. Confidence will also bring more successful and will help to mingle and deal others more confidently. I got 2nd Division in my Class 10 and it was good during those days. But today passing in 2nd division is nothing. For a sincere and hardworking student – it is more difficult to fail than passing. I personally feel that today any average student can get 60% under any University or Board.


Thirdly, one needs to learn and possess some basic etiquette. Try to learn living together with other people, learn the team work and learn to adapt new environment. I used to call some of the officers as uncivilized officers. Who are these uncivilized officers? These are the officers – may be in any institution, company or organization who possess a good skills and technically sound but they are unfortunately do not have good team work, basic etiquette and unsocialable or difficult to adjust with other people. They may be technically sound and expert in their own field but miserably useless and ineffective to work with any other social animals.

3. Vision in life: What is your vision in your life? We need to have our own visions and dreams in our life. Education does not means simply going to school or college and finish our studies with good percentage. We need to have broad mind –open-minded, accessible to other people, possess neutrality, unprejudiced. Today when we see from the Naga perspective – we need to FREE from the concept of my village, my tribe and my people as it will bring unity among the Nagas. I wish that we are more to Naga than to our own tribe and people. In other word, consider to be a good Naga than to our own tribe or people. When we have the broad-mind and able to accept other tribes and people, our Naga people here in Pune and back home will have more unity and peace. As we learn to have broad-mind and open our hearts to new concept and many other things, it will help us to adjust and live happily and successfully in the city with other people from diverse cultures and races.

4.  Student and monthly expenditure: How many of you are getting Rs 5000-10,000/- per month from your parents? How much are you expecting to earn in a month after your graduation or post graduation? Today, in India even some of the fresh MBA and Engineer starts earning around Rs 8000-10,000 per month, and for the students from Humanities and Social Science may be able to earn only Rs 5000-7000 per month. Once you are graduated, you may want to work in government or private sector, and if your monthly earning will be less than you monthly expenditure during your student life, how are you going to manage to live in the city?
As a student, you need to live on with only your basic needs; otherwise you will have a great problem in the future. I have seen some of students, especially from Nagaland who do not want to work in the city after their graduation as some of them can not earn more than what they used to get from their parents during their student life. Today, if you live a luxurious life depending on your parents’ money, you will come to face the problem after your graduation or when you start working.


(Exhortation/Short Speech delivered during the 31st Naga Students’ Union, Pune Freshers Day on 20th August 2011)







New Year Resolutions

The dawn of New Year is meant the dawn of new resolutions or same old resolutions in New Year. Not one is perfect but every one wants to live a better life in New Year.

Therefore almost all the people make New Year Resolutions every year. If you make New Year Resolutions or take it again the same old New Year Resolutions – it shows your positive attitude. Every time we make new resolutions to do better in life, we are forcefully entering the new life with positive attitude. Every new year, we make New Year Resolutions no to break it. But we make and break the resolutions, which is one of the weakest points of human beings.

Breaking the resolutions what we have made and taking up the same old resolution is very natural. We make new resolutions after breaking the New Year Resolution but still you are on the right track.

We make New Year Resolutions to improve in our spiritual life, health, financial, old bad habits, social work, personal relationship with others etc. For some people, they are focussed to improve only on one thing while others take the resolutions in different aspects. Are you discourage because you could not carry on your New Year Resolutions till 10.20..30..Jan. Feb. March.?

Many people are conscious of New Year and they make New Year Resolutions but it is our conscience that we make firm resolutions only on New Year Day. Some time we wait Wednesday.Friday.Sunday to make New Resolutions on Sunday so that we can start on Monday to live a better life or stop our old bad habits.

Are you resolved to take up your New Year Resolutions? If yes you can do it by breaking many times and making new many times. If you break your New Year Resolutions within a month (January) still you can make another New Resolutions in February. It is only your conscience that make you New Year Resolutions only on New Year Eve; there is not any problem if you make new resolution every month or week. If you break your New Year Resolutions, which is meant for one year i.e. 365 days.

It may not be effective to keep for such a long days but still you can do it. If you break it your New Year Resolutions, try to make it New Resolutions for Six Months. If you break it your New Resolutions for Six Months, make it for One Month. If you break it your One Month Resolutions, make it for One Week. If you make your One Week and struggle everyday to improve One Week Resolutions, it will work wonder, which is much more effective than 365 days resolutions.

New Year Resolutions are meant to be carried out throughout the year. But many times we failed terribly. All those who make New Resolutions and resolved to improve their weakness always have positive attitude.

They may fail again and again but they will have better life than any other ordinary people who never made resolutions or try to improve their lives. There are New Year Resolutions that need to work hard throughout the year, six months, one month, one week or everyday. Usually all the New Year Resolutions that need to struggle or work everyday is the most difficult New Year Resolutions.

If you make any New Year Resolutions and break the resolutions – never think that you’ll start afresh next year. Everyday is a New Year for us and we can make New Resolutions. Making New Year is only our conscience and we need to know our conscience. Unless we know our own conscience – we can never improve or work out our New Year Resolutions or any resolutions to be carried out.

Our wrong conscience is same as our superstition. We need to come to our senses otherwise our wrong conscience will lead us darkness. It is good that you make New Year Resolutions; there is future for you as you continue to struggle. You can carry out all your resolutions. Never loss your heart for you will be Best New Year Resolutions Winner of the year.


Note: This article was first published in February 2006


Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, an enormously popular book by author John Gray, contains many suggestions for improving relationships between men and women through understanding the communication style and emotional needs of the opposite sex. As suggested by the title, the book asserts the notion that men and women are as different as beings from other planets, and that learning the code of conduct of the opposite sex is of essential value even if individuals do not necessarily conform to the stereotypical behaviour.

Chapter 1: Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

It is important to remember that men and women have reciprocally different natures. Men and women need to appreciate these differences, and cease expecting each other to act and feel the way they do.

Chapter 2: Mr Fix-It and the Home Improvement Committee

Men love to have their abilities recognised and appreciated, and hate to have them scorned or ignored; women love to have their feelings recognised and appreciated, and hate to have them scorned or ignored. Men don’t rate feelings highly as in their view they can result in hotly impassioned, wildly unstable behaviour; women don’t rate abilities highly as in their view they can result in coldly dispassionate, aggressively competitive behaviour.

Men like to work on their own, and exercise their abilities by solving problems quickly and singlehandedly; women like to co-operate, and exercise their feelings through interactive communication with one another. Men value solutions, and view unsolicited assistance as undermining their effort to solve problems alone; women value assistance, and view unsolicited solutions as undermining their effort to proceed interactively. Men desire that their solutions will be appreciated; women desire that their assistance will be appreciated.

Chapter 3: Men Go to Their Caves and Women Talk

When faced with tough problems, men become non-communicative so they can work out how best to help themselves, while women become communicative so that others can work out how best to help them. Men like to demonstrate their abilities by being allowed to solve problems without interference; women like to demonstrate their feelings by being allowed to relate problems without interference.

When men do communicate, they like to get to the point, and generally only want to listen if they feel the conversation has a point; women enjoy talking for its own sake, and are happy to listen unconditionally.

Chapter 4: How to Motivate the Opposite Sex

A man’s instinct is to look after himself, even if it means sacrificing others; a woman’s instinct is to look after others, even if it means sacrificing herself. In a relationship, a man has to learn how to care for his partner rather than sacrificing her needs in favour of his own, and a woman has to learn how to be cared for by her partner rather than sacrificing her own needs in favour of his, so that the needs of both are met. If they do this successfully, both win, unlike their instinctive behaviours where one person gains from another’s loss. This has to be worked at, because if either partner feels their efforts towards the relationship are not being successful in pleasing their partner, they may feel hurt and decide to revert to their instinctive behaviour. Unfortunately this then causes the other partner to do the same, and the relationship unravels inexorably.

In a relationship, a man needs to feel that his attentions are needed, and a woman needs to feel that her needs are attended. To achieve this, a man has to express his desire to fulfil her needs and her worthiness to receive his care, and a woman has to express her desire for his care and his worthiness to fulfil her needs. Both must remember to appreciate, accept, and forgive the other, and avoid blaming them when they fail.

Chapter 5: Speaking Different Languages

Men talk in very literal terms for the purpose of relaying information; women employ artistic licence and dramatic vocabulary to fully express and relate their feelings.

Men like to sort their thoughts out before communicating them, and have the tendency to become distant and non-communicative as they ponder their concerns. At this time, a woman needs reassurance that her partner still rates her as worthy of being taken care of. Women like to sort their thoughts out in the process of communicating them, and have the tendency to pour forth a litany of general grievances as they relate their concerns. At this time, a man needs reassurance that his partner still rates him as worthy of taking care of things. Both must try to avoid feeling personally to blame when their partners are dealing with problems.

When a man is troubled, he does not want his partner to express concern for him, but loves to be told that the problem is easily within his abilities to rectify because of the implicit vote of confidence in his abilities. When a woman is troubled, she loves her partner to express concern for her, but does not want to be told that the problem is a simple one to solve because of the implicit dismissal of her concerns about the issue. A solution should be sought once her feelings have been fully listened to: too quick a solution justifies his abilities but devalues her concerns, too enduring a problem justifies her concerns but devalues his abilities.

Men feel validated and gratified when they are left to sort things out by themselves, and feel undermined by being offered sympathy or unsolicited assistance. Women feel validated and gratified by being offered sympathy or unsolicited assistance, and feel undermined when they are left to sort things out by themselves.

To accommodate their partners’ responses, each should make small changes to their behaviours and communication towards the other, but without compromising their own true natures.

Chapter 6: Men Are Like Rubber Bands

Men periodically bolt for cover when they suddenly fear that their self-sufficiency is becoming threatened. At these times they may become utterly unapproachable, demanding the right to be left on their own and to be allowed not to express their feelings, but if given support by being afforded space for a little while, they will soon feel better and spring back into their usual loving selves once again. It can be hard for women to handle the suddenness and speed with which men bolt for cover, and then subsequently spring back.

At times when men retreat into themselves, they can assist their partners not to be overly concerned or take it personally by providing some brief reassurance that they will return in due course. Women should resist the temptation to try to drag their partners back prematurely or criticise them over this natural behaviour.

Chapter 7: Women Are Like Waves

Women periodically sink into a depression when they feel it is time for emotional cleansing and resolution. At these times they may become utterly negative in their outlook, dwelling on every problem which troubles them, including long-standing ones which will generally have been raised and addressed before, and if they cannot find any real issues to concentrate on, then they will find some random other things to worry about.

They suspend their normal giving natures, demanding the right to express their feelings and not to be left on their own, and if supported and allowed enough time to express and release their negative feelings, they will begin to feel happier again and return to their usual loving selves. The slowness in which they sink into depression and subsequently recover may be hard for men to handle.

At times when women sink into themselves, they can assist their partners not to be overly concerned or take it personally by providing some brief reassurance that it is not their partners’ fault. Men should resist the temptation to try to lift their partners back up prematurely or criticise them over this natural behaviour.

Men demand the right to be free from time to time; women demand the right to be heard from time to time. When a man feels free he finds it easier to support a woman’s need to be heard; when a woman feels heard she finds it easier to support a man’s need to be free.

If a man’s periodic need to be free coincides with a woman’s periodic need to be heard, the best solution is for the woman to make do with being heard by her friends instead.

Chapter 8: Discovering Our Different Emotional Needs

Men and women need to remember that the emotional needs of the opposite sex are not the same as their own. Providing our partners with the wrong type of emotional needs will not be greatly appreciated.

Deep inside every man is a knight in shining armour seeking a damsel in distress who will love him, and shower him with trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement. Deep inside every woman is a damsel in distress seeking a knight in shining armour who will love her, and shower her with caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation, and reassurance. Men must listen attentively to women to understand their needs, avoiding getting angry or defensive; women must have faith in men’s abilities and best efforts to fulfill their needs, avoiding trying to change or control them.

Chapter 9: How To Avoid Arguments

Communication between relationship partners should be loving and respectful; verbal attacks by contrast are highly destructive. It is often not so much what is said that causes the damage, but the tone of voice and body language which accompanies it.

Arguments thrive on men failing to pay sufficient attention to women’s feelings, and women being critically disapproving of men. Either one may be the initial trigger, because a man’s inattentiveness can cause a woman to get upset and express disapproval, and a woman’s disapproval can cause a man to get defensive and stop listening to how she is feeling.

When men make mistakes they become frustrated and angry, and are best left alone until they calm down. Men consider apologies to be admissions of guilt; women view apologies as expressions of compassion. This difference of perception is why men are generally much less willing to apologise than women.

When engaged in an argument, men use strong and aggressive words to ensure that they win the argument, and women are frequently forced to back down in the face of a totally determined and implacable opponent. Men then feel that they have won the argument, but it is a hollow victory as their partners have not changed their views, but merely buried them in order to avoid an ever-escalating conflict. Sometimes people prefer to evade arguments instead of engaging in them. Men tend to do so by withdrawing inside themselves and refusing to talk; women often just pretend that the disagreement has been forgotten. The resultant peace is a cold one, because the issues continue festering unresolved.

To stop communication degenerating into arguments, men should strive to listen without getting defensive, and women should try to express their feelings without criticising their partners.

Chapter 10: Scoring Points with the Opposite Sex

Men feel loved if their efforts at giving are appreciated; women feel loved according to what they receive. For women, loving someone means knowing and attending to their needs without waiting to be asked, and so a loved person should never have to ask for anything as their needs ought to be anticipated ahead of time. So women give unconditionally, and proactively seek ways to help others, whereas men only give when they feel that their efforts will be fairly appreciated and rewarded, and often will not know how or what to give without being specifically asked. Men often quickly suspend giving when feeling pleased about having done something; women may only suspend giving when feeling displeased with their partners for doing nothing.

Men value results; for women it’s the thought that counts. Consequently, men value big things much more than do women, who feel more appreciated by receiving lots of little gifts instead. A woman may consider a bunch of flowers to be just as good a proof of love as an entire month of hard work towards paying the bills.

If men and women do not take account of these different perspectives, they may fail to give their partners what they actually want. When this occurs, the man will frequently suspend giving as he feels he is not receiving enough reward back for what he has given, but the woman will continue to give unconditionally even though she feels she is giving more and has started to feel unloved, unappreciated and resentful.

Men should try to identify various little ways to give to their partners without waiting to be asked first, and should avoid the mistake of assuming their partners to be happy giving and not asking for anything back. Women should be careful not to give a false impression to their partners of being happy when they are not, and if they begin to feel resentful they should gently reduce their giving, learn to ask for things back, and be sure to keep expressing lots of appreciation of their partners’ efforts so as to encourage them to give more. Men should try to listen lovingly and respectfully to women’s feelings, women should try to express their feelings in a loving and respectful manner. If men give, and women appreciate, both end up feeling happy.

Chapter 11: How to Communicate Difficult Feelings

Unresolved negative feelings can cause us to act in ways we really don’t want to, or become manifest in all kinds of compulsive or addictive behaviours. Avoiding our negative feelings doesn’t make them go away, but compassionately embracing them can heal them and enable us to start loving again. By acting as loving parents to our own inner child, we finally allow our repressed feelings to be fully expressed and released.

To ease the pain and win love, men often obsessively seek success, and women obsessively seek perfection. Men may use anger, ego, or oblivion (such as burying themselves in their work) to avoid vulnerable feelings of pain or fear; women may lapse into depression or confusion to avoid having aggressive feelings of anger.

Constructive communication is a learned skill, and many of us must first unlearn the paradigm of negative communication and repression of feelings which we experienced during childhood. Communication works best if it presents the full picture, so that the root of the problem is revealed rather than just the symptoms.

Writing our feelings down is excellent for expressing our negative emotions (anger, pain, fear, and regret) in a controlled manner, rather than letting them explode at our partners in the heat of the moment. Having done so, we can get back in touch with our loving feelings, and are then in a much better state to explain to our partners what we are feeling, and what they can do to help us feel better. It is important to communicate such feelings in a loving atmosphere because we may need to feel securely loved while communicating such intimate and revealing feelings, and our partners may need the same if some of those feelings will be painful to hear, or could be taken personally. At times it is worth discussing them with friends or counselors first.

Chapter 12: How to Ask for Support and Get It

Men love to do things which are appreciated, and hate to do things which are demanded. Criticising him or giving excessive instructions will make him feel more like a slave than a loved and trusted partner.

Men love to prove their worth through the things they do, but they generally wait to be asked, and take a long time to learn to offer their services unsolicited. Women should therefore control their expectations of men being able to anticipate their needs, ask for help without making it sound like a demand because they resent the need to do so, and appreciate the help they receive even though it needed to be requested first.

Women should avoid requesting help from a man in a way which either doesn’t sound like a clear request, or carries implicit criticism that he should have already done it. Questions which begin with the words ‘Could you’ or ‘Can you’ are often interpreted by men as questioning their abilities, and they therefore respond more positively to the same questions if they begin instead with ‘Would you’ or ‘Will you’. The difference may seem tiny, but it can feel as different as the man saying ‘No I can’t’ or ‘No I won’t’ in response to the request.

It is best to allow a man the freedom to do things in a way and at a time that works for him. If a man is busy doing something and a woman needs his help on something else, she should feel free to ask him for help, but be prepared for him to request to defer it or even to refuse it; if requests always require positive answers, they are really demands, and men will sense the difference. If a man grumbles about a request then he is actually considering it, and the best approach is to simply wait for him to come to a decision without saying anything further, and aim to accept the outcome graciously.

Chapter 13: Keeping the Magic of Love Alive

In relationships, unresolved negative feelings can pop up without warning, and we suddenly become upset, or sensitive, or distant. When this happens to our partners we should encourage them to work through it, accepting that it may take some time and that they may need support from outside as well as from ourselves, and do our best to control any impatience or resentments we may feel towards them during these times.

Love inevitably changes over time: the pristine bliss we feel when we first fall in love doesn’t last forever, and over time our personal faults and negative baggage inevitably become exposed. But if we stick tight through the ups and downs of life and each other, then our initial bliss gradually changes into a mature form of love which can become stronger and fuller with every passing year.




NE has to be open to peace: Dr. Wati Aier

Morung Express News
Dimapur | September 22

6th North East Youth Peace and Cultural Festival concludes

It is not common for a speaker at an “interfaith” congregation to whistle into the mike. But today’s speaker at the 6th North East Youth Peace and Cultural Festival 2013, being held at Holy Cross Hr. Sec. School here, is not known for deploying common methods. Rev. Dr. Wati Aier, Principal of Oriental Theological Seminary and Convenor of the Forum for Naga Reconciliation, was met with the enthusiasm he showed by the children and youth in packed attendance for today’s message on the Festival’s theme, “peace building through reconciliation.”

Dr. Wati whistled to get the boys at the congregation to cheer for the girls in attendance, drawing loud ovation in response, with some girls raising a high-five. “Women are not second class beings to be mistreated. Do not violate them, and treat them with respect,” Dr. Wati advised.
His message was heard with rapt attention.

“The world is in chaos—in the midst of this, you and I have this opportunity to meet and talk about peace and reconciliation,” spoke Dr. Wati loud and clear, engaging in a dialogue with the delegates, asking them to believe in the uniqueness of each of their being. The Festival, hosted by Peace Channel and People’s Forum for Peace, is being attended by more than 600 delegates today.

Since the conflicts of the 21st century revolve around lines of ethnicity, conventional methods or government systems of resolving conflicts will not work, explained Dr. Wati. Non government organizations, as well as churches, will play an important role to bring peace through their activism.

“We are in conflict with the world in a positive way,” he stated. Referring to the myriad peoples who inhabit the North East region of India, he asserted that “we do not want to be marginalized or subjugated anymore. We are not satisfied with the inhuman, divided world. Thus, we must be different in order to change this world.” The North East, he said, must be open to peace and hope for future transformation of state through “reconciliation in god.”

In that, “we are fortunate to transcend our local organizational and denominational lines to come together in a cumulative manner like this,” he said.

Dr. Wati made a reference to the “bitter hatred” that is making people kill each other today. Through ‘isms’ as well as the principalities (ideologies, tribes, etc.) and powers derived from this world, he reflected, “we often become involved in destructive social arrangements without being aware of it. This makes us partake in the evil of ‘collective sins’ especially through the actions of an agency or party. Young people have to take the initiative to change this situation; to fight it.”

He quoted the example of Yousafzai Malala from Pakistan who was shot at by extremists at the age of 15 for being a woman and daring to seek education. She survived and later took up the cause of equal education for all. Thus children, said Dr. Wati, should not take their life and opportunities for granted.

There is no age limit, he held, to stand up against injustice. Simple acts like keeping the city clean could contribute towards peace. Moreover, the youth should talk about curbing ‘isms’. “We are ethnically different but in a modern world, isms should give way to a common humanity through such congregations,” he maintained, referring to the ongoing Festival, which concludes today.

My Perception and I

My Perception and I

It is only my projection that makes me to hate or love someone or something; no human or nothing is good or bad in this world – it simply is. It is my projection that I projected something good or bad. I may be born in a rich or poor family but my future life decides on my projection, perception, attitude, approach, concept, pre-concept, understanding, interest and desire. My parents, friends or environment cannot decide my present or future life. It is my projection that the world is a good place to dwell or miserable place to dwell in. It is through my understanding and attitude that I can change my wrong projection and perception about someone or something.

It is very important how I approach or project the people or a situation in my mind. My positive or negative thoughts come from my projection, perception or pre-concept. I remember a story. There were two sons in a family. The father drinks everyday and fights with all the family members. The elder son follows the footstep of his dad and drinks everyday as he grows up. One day, someone asked him, “Why do you drink every day?” My father was like that and how could I be different from him? The younger son never drinks unlike his brother and father. Someone asked him, “Why did you never booze like your elder brother and father?” He said, “I am not happy with my father who always drinks and fights with all the family members; I don’t want to be like him.” It is his projection, understanding and perception on his dad that make him to change his life. He was convinced that if he were like his dad, other people would dislike associating with him.

When we perceive something in our mind, it continues to linger around our mind till we develop a constructive or negative projection. Whatever we do – whether good or bad, our understanding, perception, projection or pre-concept, etc decide what to do. We may be very poor but the situation or environment cannot make us richer. It is our only positive projection, attitude, perception and approach (PAPA) that will make us richer in our hearts primarily. We may be from a rich family but our lives may be miserable like the poorest in the world with our wrong PAPA. Man’s ends are unlimited and cannot be content with our richness on our wrong projection, attitude, perception and understanding. Suppose you find a beautiful dress and you want to purchase it. But when you observe it and re-examine, nothing is special in that dress but only the latest fashion. The quality of the dress material is ordinary and not durable – then you think that this dress deceives your eyes and heart. Nobody has deceived you. Your mind projected – the dress is good and so you purchase it! One day a person may perceive a beautiful thing; the other day the same person may perceive a thing very ugly. Likewise, it is our projection, perception and understanding that the whole thing around us is pictured beautiful or ugly.

The situation or environment is similar to all the people in this world. Our projection, attitude, perception, approach and pre-concept make us sad or happy. Who is perfect in this world? Everybody encounters problems – the rich or the poor man. The people from a developed country like UK or the US or from a third world country like India or Pakistan – they have problems to be solved. Our right projection, perception, approach and attitude only can help to solve the problem or overcome a difficult situation.

When people have right approach, attitude, projection and perception to the given situation or environment, that very difficult situation or environment cannot make a person’s life ordinary or meaningless. Sometimes we may not be able to solve the problem immediately but our right attitude, approach, perception and projection can solve or remove the problem in our mind. Where does the problem lie? Can you see the problem or touch the problem? Many people think that problem is the biggest “problem” in their lives; they want to remove the problem by their hands or with something. But can you remove the problem by your hands, which you cannot touch?

Problem cannot be touched by hands but felt only in our heart. So something, which cannot be touched by hands, cannot be removed by our hands either. Many times problem lies only in your projection, perception, understanding, mind and pre-concept. Can we touch our perception, understanding and attitude? If not so, we cannot remove the problem by our hands. Everywhere there is problem and we encounter problems in our own way. The problems or difficulties can be changed by our projection, perception, attitude and approach. It is easier to change our PAPA than changing or removing the problems. When we change our PAPA, the problem automatically and subsequently vanishes.

Our success in our works depends on our PAPA! It is not only the rich people who can be successful in this world. Anybody that has right PAPA will be succeeding in life. It is the PAPA that makes a man’s life different from others and worthwhile. There was a man selling balloons on the roadside. A boy came and asked the man, “Will this black balloon fly very high like the red balloon?” Then the man replied, “It is not the red color balloon that can fly very high but the Neon gas which is inside the balloon.” Likewise, it is not the people from a good background or environment but the PAPA of human makes successful in life. We may be from a royal family but without having the right PAPA, we cannot face the world and become a successful human. People who blame the situation or environment have wrong projection, attitude, perception and approach. If we fail today, tomorrow we can be a successful person with our right PAPA. People with wrong PAPA are always bound to a failure. We fail not because of the situation or environment but we have gotten the wrong projection, attitude, perception and approach. We cannot blame the situation and environment for our failure in life.

We may be optimistic about our future lives. But we will be pessimists when we do not change our wrong PAPA. We may be full of confidence and optimism about our lives but we cannot face the failures and problems without the right PAPA. Every one encounters a problem at least and comes across failure in life; once we face such problems and failures, we will lose all our confidence and optimism if we lack the right PAPA. The problems are created due to our wrong projection, attitude, perception and approach and the problems can be solved with our right PAPA. Our whole life is molded by our projection, attitude, perception and approach. It is impossible for a human to commit suicide when he/she changes the wrong PAPA to right PAPA.

One day our life is beautiful; another day it could become meaningless as we change our projection, attitude, perception and approach. It is not the situation, environment or problem that makes us our lives ordinary or special. Our right PAPA is very crucial – our wrong PAPA can make us defeat or paralytic. We may appreciate and be inspired by someone, other people may not like and feel uninspired. It is only our projection on someone. The sunset looks beautiful to one person; and to another, sad. And to another it does not matter. In everybody’s life, there is something special and beautiful that needs to be dug out. Many people may not like an ugly and poor guy but there is something beautiful in him and he can be very helpful to many. Your right and constructive PAPA on him will make lots of difference on him.

A girl may be very beautiful and helpful according to your projection but to someone she may not be beautiful and helpful. It is because we have different projection, perception and approach on her. For some people defeat is the greatest enemy and saddest thing. Thus, they may want to end their lives due to defeatism. But for the people with different projection, attitude, perception and approach may not be the greatest enemy. For a human with right PAPA – it is the best time to learn the causes of the defeat and accept the defeat.

Osho was a bit notorious when he was young and he loved to play and talk in the class. One day, his teacher told him to get out of the class and stand in the corridor (verandah). His teacher made him to stand outside the class as a punishment but it was a chance for him to stand outside and watch the beautiful scene around. Hence, it was not a punishment for him in his heart. Here the point is that it is our projection, attitude, perception and approach that a human thinks a punishment or problem very big or small or no problem and no punishment. A person who cannot accept the defeat cannot overcome the defeat. The victorious people always accept the defeat with their right projection, attitude, perception and approach. But the people who do not want to accept the defeat will defeat themselves. The people, who cannot accept their mistakes, defeat, problem and failures with right PAPA cannot subdue and handle the situations either.

Accept all the people and everything around you as it is with your right approach, attitude, projection and perception and it will appear good as it is. To deal any kind of situations, people, problems, defeat or success, everything depends on our projection, attitude, perception and approach. Our right PAPA on human and everything around us will make our lives different in a special way. It is our projection, attitude, perception and approach that will mold our lives what we want to be. It is up to you to choose the right or wrong projection, attitude, perception and approach. (Written on 12-02-04)

Copyright@Dr. Thohe Pou